Miss B

Kierstyn Budz

By 9 a.m.
I have tied four shoes,
broken up one argument about whose turn it was to be line leader,
and been informed politely,
that my name is weird.

So today I am Miss B.
Miss Budz, if they’re brave.
Miss Teacher, if they can’t remember.

Elementary hugs me like they’ve known me forever.
They attach themselves to my legs.
Some jump into me at full speed.
One cries because I am not their teacher.
One cries because I am.
Both seem reasonable.

By midmorning,
a few pencils have been airborne.
Once it was a chair.

It is not personal,
just big feelings
and a body too small for the amount of frustration it’s holding.
I learn quickly which voice to use.
The calm one.
The serious one.
The one that says “I saw that”
without saying anything at all.

The older ones test me like I’m a student.
They want to know how far I will bend before I break.
They want to know if I will yell.
They want to know if I am “cool” or not.

One tells me I’m their favorite substitute
like it’s a confession.
Or maybe just a bribe.
Another says it unprompted,
weeks later, in the hallway,
like I might disappear if not reminded.

I became excellent at tying shoes
that do not belong to me.

At crouching.
At listening to stories that begin in the middle
and never circle back.
At holding hands briefly,
then letting go.

I erase my name from whiteboards,
again and again,
as if a ritual of temporary ownership.

Some days I am wiping tears.
Some days I can feel the gray hairs growing.
Most days,
I do both.

I do not stay long enough to be remembered,
the way teachers are remembered,
but somehow, I am.

That’s the job.
Entering a room as a stranger,
leaving as a story told over dinner.

Miss B.
Miss Budz.

Miss Teacher.
The one who might have been cool that day.
The one who tied your shoe
and stayed long enough
to matter.

Kierstyn Budz went to Eastern Illinois University for her BA and MA in English and creative writing. Currently she is pursuing her MFA in creative writing and online teaching at Southern New Hampshire University. She has a lifelong passion for storytelling and bringing readers into the depths of her imagination. While her primary focus is science fiction and fantasy, she has an interest in playwriting and enjoys crocheting and painting in her free time. Her work has been published in The Vehicle, Blueroom, and The Evening Universe. She can be found “@kierstynbudz” on all social media.